TLDR; Summer gigs, University life, and my Mental Health have kept me busy, but I’m still working on stuff! Primarily Project T-1000.

Any updates I have to share will be mainly via Discord, TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and X (Twitter).

Any commitments I had, including the Hope Initiative, are on hiatus for now. Any future ones I make are on my schedule, and only if I believe I can live up to them.

CW: This post will talk a lot about poor mental health, and briefly touches upon the subject of suicide.

“Yo Vic, where have you been?”

Good question! I wonder that myself sometimes. This post is gonna get a bit more personal than I tend to in these posts, so get comfy!

So first, I am still working as much as I can on our game projects. I have many ideas for both Just Keep Running and Project T-1000, and I’m currently prioritizing getting a standalone demo of T-1000 done for 2025.

On the other hand, I have been kept very busy by a lot of stuff that I can put into three categories.

1. Gig work

Especially during the summer, I’ve been doing a lot of videography and editing gigs, and some of the editing work has also managed to slip into the Autumn.

I’ve been rather unlucky with getting a summer job these past two years, so I’ve had to rely on gigs and other opportunities for my income during the summer. They’ve been fun, but require a lot of work and are of higher priority than game development.

These jobs have helped me with my daily costs, but will also allow me to reinvest into the company and these games. Voice Actors, PR stuff, etc.

2. University

I knew already going into this year that things were gonna change a lot. My upper secondary studies at LBS came to an end, and I started applying for scholarships across Sweden. 

Vocational Universities around Gothenburg, Malmö, Stockholm, and even a University up in Luleå, which is WAY UP NORTH of Sweden, over two times closer to the Finnish border than Stockholm.

As I said in this post, I ended up getting a Game Dev scholarship at the University of Skövde, and I started my studies almost a month ago now! I’ve been keeping up so far during the soft start, and I’ve already met a lot of great people in and out of my class. Safe to say, I’m having a good time so far 😀

This has also involved me moving places for the first time since childhood, from my parent’s house to my own apartment just outside of Skövde. The process has been quick, and I’m starting to get used to living on my own for the first time.

For you young people who have yet to go to University, it is a lot like a job. You usually spend 8 hours a day working on a project or two, either alone or with others, going to lectures, etc.

It takes a lot of responsibility to thrive in that environment, and you should spend your time with grace and focus. That’s gonna take some time away from working on my projects, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have free time in my day to spend doing just that! I just can’t do it at the same pace I did before.

3. Mental Health

Lastly, most importantly, the thing that will be most hard for me to admit to publicly.

I have started to seek professional help regarding my mental health.

I’ve dealt with mental health issues ever since I was young, going through high points and low points in many periods of my life. I’ve always been able to push through, but not knowing what’s “wrong” with me or getting any professional help has at times made it really difficult for me to deal with it. Rarely, but sometimes it led to the point of suicidal ideation, the last time I was there was the summer of last year.

These past few months, I’ve started noticing habits that I thought were normal before, but now I just feel utterly confused as to why I am and behave in this way. Why do I struggle with procrastination or concentrating? Why do I obsess over such small details? Why do I always bite my nails? Why do my legs shake whenever I’m sitting down? Why am I so anxious all the time?

I sense that the bad habits and addictions I struggle with are the result of something, but I can’t pinpoint what. And I felt this more strongly when I moved to my apartment and I was left alone to dwell on these thoughts and fears I had.

“I need help, I can’t do this alone anymore” is what I thought repeatedly. It’s not like I was alone, I had friends and family I could talk to about this. And while that does help, it can only do so much.

So, last week, I reached out to my health clinic about this. I’ve started looking for help, and just so y’all know, I’m probably gonna be busy trying to figure this all out. Everyone I’ve talked to about this has been fully supportive of my decision, and I hope this leads to positive outcomes!

What does this all mean for I.M.I.Self?

While I have a great bunch of friends working along with me to get these games done, I.M.I.Self is a sole proprietorship. I’m self-employed, the only employee. So everything rests on my shoulders in the end.

I’ll still be working, primarily on Project T-1000. But, my studies and my health come first.

I’ll try to keep you all updated primarily on our Discord server, TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and my X (Twitter) account.

Any commitments and deadlines I had for myself related to I.M.I.Self or any game updates are on hiatus for the time being. Any dates or announcements are on my schedule, and only if I can live up to the demand.

This also means that the I.M.I.Self Hope Initiative is on hiatus for now. If I have something new or major to announce or promote, that's when the initiative will return. I’m incredibly proud of the initiative and how much good even a small community like ours can do for the world, and I wanna keep that fire burning once I have more fuel in my tank.

Right, I think that’s about everything I felt I needed to say!
I always worry about leaving people in the dark, so even if some stuff is awkward to admit, I feel it’s worth it for the transparency and openness.

Until next time, take care of yourself! 😀
- Victor Ahlin